I’ve always been pretty sure I was destined to be a Disney character, so a few years ago I did something sort of backwards. I left the Big Apple for an audition in Orlando, Florida, to pursue a job as a Professional Disney Princess (P.D.P.)
My mom drove me to the audition, which was held in a pretty un-Disney-like warehouse off the Walt Disney World premises. I was all dolled up, wearing a poufy floral dress, high heels, and fake eyelashes. As my mom dropped me off, driving our rented red Corvette and wearing an Alice in Wonderland costume (Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party was later that evening), we watched a bunch of people wearing gym clothes filing into the building.
“Those people look like shit,” my mom said. “You’re going to kick their asses.”