When Walt Disney invented Mickey Mouse he said that people liked him because “he’s a pretty nice fellow who never does anybody harm, who gets into scrapes through no fault of his own, but always manages to come up grinning.” Did it take market research to figure that out? Continue reading
Category Archives: Characters
We ran into Mary Poppins last year when we were in Cabo, and though she initially wouldn’t admit that it was her, we finally got her to talk. She asked me to hold this interview until she’d gone back to nannying. She was on a rather jolly Mexican holiday with Bert and didn’t want any of those “If you want this choice position have a cheery disposition” letters finding her and ruining her trip. Continue reading
When I was thirteen or so, my mom brought me and my friend Patty to Disney World, which ended up being a pretty big shit show. Patty is one of the silliest people I know, her love of fart jokes has no bounds, and she was up for any stupid idea my mom and I have. (She knows the rules.)
One morning we dined in Chef Mickey’s, and have you been there? It’s a huge open buffet nestled inside the Contemporary (you can hear the monorail whizzing by from above) where Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, and Chip get dressed in chef hats and pose with kids while everyone scarfs down watery scrambled eggs. I do not like this kind of restaurant. But sometimes I’ll do anything for good ambiance.
There are so many (unsubstantiated) rumors about Walt Disney; if you believe all of them he was a racist, anti semetic nazi sympathizer and he’s frozen and waiting to be thawed out somewhere in Sleeping Beauty Castle. I don’t believe those things mostly because I don’t want to.
But was he a hallucinagenic drug user? Were he and his animators all really high when they were making “Alice in Wonderland? Are the 7 Dwarfs their big inside joke about the 7 stages of cocaine addiction? Probably not – but it’s surely the funniest Walt Disney rumor I’ve ever heard.
Today, as Kate marries her Prince Charming and becomes a Princess, I don’t want to ruin her big day but I would consider it irresponsible not to remind her that being a Princess is not always easy. In fact, becoming a princess can be alarmingly dangerous.
For instance, everything ends well for Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty), as I’m sure it will for Kate, but even in the Disney version she’s got an evil fairy on her back. Continue reading
On one hand it seems like everybody in the world knows Mickey Mouse and he’s everybody’s best friend. But on the other hand I wonder if we know him at all. He’s changed his name (it used to be Mortimer Mouse) and even his voice (Walt Disney gave him his original voice and his first words? Hot Dogs! ) – so I have to ask, “Mickey, what have you got to hide?” Continue reading
You know, I have always thought lots of the Disney Princes were pretty hunky. Aladdin, Prince Eric, Tarzan, and even King Triton. Don’t tell me I’m wrong. They’re ripped, they’re beautiful, they’re freaking heroes. (There are exceptions, Prince In Beauty and the Beast After He Is No Longer A Beast). So I’m, like, click click clicking on these semi-NSFW drawings of the Men Of Disney.
While some of them are disturbing:
I’ve always been pretty sure I was destined to be a Disney character, so a few years ago I did something sort of backwards. I left the Big Apple for an audition in Orlando, Florida, to pursue a job as a Professional Disney Princess (P.D.P.)
My mom drove me to the audition, which was held in a pretty un-Disney-like warehouse off the Walt Disney World premises. I was all dolled up, wearing a poufy floral dress, high heels, and fake eyelashes. As my mom dropped me off, driving our rented red Corvette and wearing an Alice in Wonderland costume (Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party was later that evening), we watched a bunch of people wearing gym clothes filing into the building.
“Those people look like shit,” my mom said. “You’re going to kick their asses.”