Category Archives: Bitch It Out

by | June 23, 2011 · 8:21 pm

I’m Just Going to Say It: This “Pooh Sized” Stuff Is Bullshit

Read our apology letter to Jezebel here.

I posted about “Pooh Sized” Disney World guests the other day, and I did it very cautiously. I didn’t want to offend heavy people, and I still don’t. But now that I think about it, my distaste for the word “pooh sized” and my shock over the immense number of obese people in Disney World is a fact that I shouldn’t be ashamed in admitting.

Listen, I love it when people celebrate their bodies and all that. But there is nothing cute about being morbidly obese. I am so glad that Disney accommodates people who are overweight (some parks don’t.) I want everyone to be able to ride Space Mountain and The Haunted Mansion. But let’s call it what it is. If you’re 5’5″ and weigh 200 pounds, you are obese. You might have high blood pressure or cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, respiratory problems, gout, reproductive complications, bladder control issues, or psychological disorders or other serious conditions. That’s not cute, it’s scary.

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by | June 14, 2011 · 4:53 pm

Disney World Tickets Went Up Again

Starting last Sunday, the  base price of a one-day WDW ticket jumped 3.7 percent, from $82 to $85 and that makes it the first theme park to have a base ticket that is over $80.

Most of the other tickets are going up too – the 5 day ticket will increase 5.9% and the 7 day will go up 8.1%. My annual pass will go up 2%.

That’s a lot – and it’s the second increase in the past year. Continue reading →

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by | May 19, 2011 · 3:52 pm

Don’t Piss Off The Monorail Driver (and other useful advice)

He looks friendly enough, but don't cross him.

Here’s something the guide books don’t warn you about – monorail drivers don’t put up with any shenanigans.

Once when I was returning by myself from the Magic Kingdom to the Polynesian Resort I was alone in a car with a dad and his 8 or 9-year-old daughter. We were just about to pull  into the transportation and ticket center and we stopped – just short of the platform.

For a couple of minutes nothing happened and then the loudspeaker came on. A scratchy, undecipherable voice was telling us something that sounded like, “Can I have your attention please, the monorail crackle, crackle, crackle so please don’t crackle crackle crackle and don’t crackle crackle crackle thank you.”

The dad and I looked at each other; “What did he just say?” Was it maintenance? A break down? A terrorist attack? Continue reading →

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by | May 5, 2011 · 10:47 pm

Dear Disney, We’ll Kick Your Ass – Re: Internet Connection

20110506-094828.jpg

We’ve been having a lovely day here at Walt Disney World. We bought matching Minnie Mouse action figures that came with a complete and really cute wardrobe. (We’re going to play with them – that’s what we’re going to do with them, but thanks for asking).

Everything was going just fine until we came back to the Beach Club and Lauren found out about some work problems and needed to get online. We found a nice table in the resort’s solarium and fired up her mac airbook – nothing. Uh-oh, where’s the “Welcome to the Beach Club, pay us 29.99 and you can use our wireless network” screen? This was a pickle. Lauren really needed to get this stuff done. Continue reading →

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by | April 26, 2011 · 11:48 am

Affording Disney World Crazy Style

Can't Wait For The Flower Show!

The Disney community on the internet is one of the most vibrant, active, and insane you’ll ever run across. I use the forums for information about deals and new things in the parks and I am grateful for their existence. Sites like “The Disney Information Station” has message boards  that are pretty impressive databases of collective Disney knowledge and I give them their due respect – they know their stuff.

Of course in a community that big (almost 350,000 members) you are going to get a few loose screws and I don’t want to be mean and say I read sometimes just for a laugh (but I do read sometimes just for a laugh). Some of the most, um, eye-opening advice is given on the budget board, by people who are so determined to afford Disney World vacations that they are one step away from selling their first-born. Often, I’d like to step in and offer the suggestion that maybe they should just skip the trip if money is so tight but a) it’s none of my business and b) they’d probably hunt me down and kill me. Continue reading →

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by | April 23, 2011 · 10:58 am

Let’s Be Honest – The Norway Movie Is Unfortunate

Oh no! It's a troll!

author’s note: my family, in an attempt to say the word “sucks” less, has adopted the word “unfortunate” for use in its place. And so, in this blog, if we say that something is “unfortunate”, what we mean is that “it sucks”.

The movie at the end of Maelstrom , the ride in the Norway Pavillion at EPCOT is extremely unfortunate – and it has always been unfortunate. The first time I disembarked from my Viking boat and entered the theater, I seated myself obediently and I gave it a chance – I won’t make that mistake twice. Continue reading →

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by | April 20, 2011 · 3:34 pm

The Rules

Eric was the model guest

Not that people are clamouring to come with us to Disney World or anything, but if they want to come, and we love showing people what we love about it – there are some ground rules. Anyone who does not follow the rules and/or respect our Disney time will be BANNED FOR LIFE and will be forever eliminated from our guest list. We don’t like having to do this, and it hasn’t happened often, but it has come to this unfortunate end and people have been banned. To avoid this unhappy fate, consider the following: If you are lucky enough to be included in a Cheri/Lauren WDW trip,

a) Commit enthusiastically. If you want to come, great! If you are on the fence and think it might be lame and you think you are doing us some kind of favor by coming with us – DON’T. We’ll do fine without you. Continue reading →

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by | April 14, 2011 · 9:15 am

Give Me a Bibbidi Bobbidi Break


Let me just start by saying that I am 100% in favor of letting kids express themselves with clothes. When Lauren was really little she wanted to wear dresses all the time, even playing outside; what did I care? Then she went through a stage that I found hard to define. Let’s just say that pink sweatpants paired with one of her dad’s t-shirts didn’t bother her at all (not even with her big, pink 80s glasses) nor did it me – she was happy. Of course now she asks me how I could have let her out of the house like that but I figure she’ll understand when she’s a mother. Letting a kid wear what they want is an easy way to throw them a bone and let them feel like they have control of something.

I love Disney, so if Lauren had wanted to dress like a Disney princess 24/7 I would probably have loved it. So why does the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique bother me so much?

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