Dear Disney, We’ll Kick Your Ass – Re: Internet Connection

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We’ve been having a lovely day here at Walt Disney World. We bought matching Minnie Mouse action figures that came with a complete and really cute wardrobe. (We’re going to play with them – that’s what we’re going to do with them, but thanks for asking).

Everything was going just fine until we came back to the Beach Club and Lauren found out about some work problems and needed to get online. We found a nice table in the resort’s solarium and fired up her mac airbook – nothing. Uh-oh, where’s the “Welcome to the Beach Club, pay us 29.99 and you can use our wireless network” screen? This was a pickle. Lauren really needed to get this stuff done.

So we called the front desk, and Lauren was connected to someone that seemed to have never heard of the internet, so she put her on hold.

The woman transferred Lauren to another woman that was not much more help. She wanted to know if Lauren saw “smart spot” on her screen. When Lauren told her she didn’t even know what that was, let alone see it anywhere, the woman was stumped. “I’ll have to put you on hold.”

Next Lauren was transferred to someone who didn’t do anything except tell her that she was transferring her to someone else. Seriously, Lauren could not have been the first person in the history of the Beach Club Resort to ask about internet access so WTF was going on here?

The last person Lauren got was a guy that told her that there was no wireless internet at the resort.

I walked down to the lobby and asked the concierge about it- meanwhile, Lauren was running all over the resort trying to pick up a wireless connection somewhere, anywhere (the public bathrooms? the elevator? the giftshop?) A really friendly guy told me that the internet does exist at WDW but with an ethernet connection in the rooms; unfortunately Lauren’s macbook airbbook doesn not have an ethernet port.

By this time Lauren is steaming and I am reminding her not to say “fuck” so much around all these kids. We decided that the only thing that was going to help at this point was a drink so went to the “Martha’s Vineyard Lounge”, the resort’s bar. A few minutes later we were drowning our sorrows and telling the bartender our troubles. “Why don’t you go out to the pool? There’s wi-fi out there.”

Really?

So we’re here poolside, and Lauren has calmed down and she’s getting her work done.

Moral of this story? Bartenders fix everything.

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5 Comments

Filed under Bitch It Out, Drinking

5 Responses to Dear Disney, We’ll Kick Your Ass – Re: Internet Connection

  1. how is it that there’s only wireless out by the pool?

    that’s one thing i don’t like about staying on a disney resort… you have to pay for that internet!

    • Now they are saying it’s in the lobby too but we can’t pick it up there. So the pool is the only place we’ve been able to get online. And yes, you have to pay.

      Another thing – why don’t they have pay per view here???

      • Nick Pacitti

        This is good stuff Cheri. I really laughed reading this – keep up the good f _ _ _ing work!

      • thanks Nick! Tell that lazy wife of yours to get off her ass and do some work around the house.

  2. Rach

    Hope you ask for a refund on your wi fi!! Only by the pool that is so bizarre. Becareful don’t get it wet!
    Love the picture ladies I wanna see more please :-)

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